It was St Stephen’s Day and I was saying Mass in the local church. The Acts of the Apostles described the martyrdom of Stephen: 'As they were stoning him, Stephen said in invocation, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he knelt down and said aloud, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them’; and with these words he fell asleep'. As Mass progressed, the 'Our Father' repeated that haunting theme: ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’; and my mind wandered far away, and many years ago, to Western Kenya, to the homeland of the ancestors of Barak Obama.

A young 15 year-old school girl, whom I knew, had been stolen from her family and forced to become fourth wife to a rich and unscrupulous man. It was her father who sent the message to me in desperation and, filled with indignation and fear for the girl, I set off on my motorbike to find her. After hours of argument with the man, the girl holding my coat from behind, it became obvious that he and those who held her would not release her. I left, my heart heavy with failure and the girl and her family let down. The next day I drove some miles to the police post and persuaded the sergeant to send some 'askaris' (policemen) with me and we returned to rescue the girl.

A court case followed which I had to attend with the girl and her parents. In this case local law had been violated and the man was fined a small amount. But local sympathy was with the man – it was not uncommon that such things happened and he had not expected my intervention. From my point of view, and the parents of the girl, and the girl herself, she was now free and her life was not blighted like those of her two elder sisters who had been stolen away years earlier. But I was stung to the quick when the presiding magistrate spoke with understanding for the man and referred to me as a 'brash young man' who had interfered in a local situation. At that Mass on St Stephen’s day I suddenly realised that I had been 'the enemy' to those I had thwarted. They had seen things differently. Others had got away with it in the past and she was only a girl after all! 

The Acts of the Apostles describe how those who stoned Stephen had put down their coats at the feet of a young man called Saul – who had 'entirely approved of the killing'. St Paul (Saul) was not a bad man who had become good but a good man who had, at last, seen things differently. He was one of those prayed for by the dying Stephen.

A wise woman once remarked to me; to understand all is to forgive all. God understands all.

As I pray for those who offend me, I hope that they in their turn will find it in their hearts also to pray for me.

Fr Frank Thompson MHM

Diocesan Organiser, Portsmouth and Plymouth